


A Lofty Proposition

by InfernalPume



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Courtship, Marriage Proposal, Nobility, Other, Salty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 15:19:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11717076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfernalPume/pseuds/InfernalPume
Summary: Lord Fraggis of Hexelshire invites the Loony Lady Lannie of Lucitor to his home for some wine and a discussion.





	A Lofty Proposition

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell/gifts).



Lord Fraggis of Lorelei sat in front of his glowplace, admiring a centaboar’s mandibles that hung on the mantle as he sipped his wine. The Lady Stelangela Zor'galothoth-Lucitor should arrive any moment now, and the pixie noble had spared no expenses for the meeting. The finest and ripest crystals from the mines to light the glowplace, a tray of pixtopian delights mixed with the wine he sampled now, and all the furniture in the room bolted down. Everything would be perfect, everything Lord Fraggis _ever_ did was perfect.

 

The middle son of a wealthy merchant turned Baron, Lord Fraggis was no stranger to the finer aspects of life. Even during the famed economic meltdown he still received a flying tortoise flagship for his third birthday. But even such riches were only riches when faced with royal blood. Of all the nobles, only them in the book of Onyx paid Fraggis any time of day. Even when he had more money as a middle child then the Crown Prince of Pixtopia, his only ticket to royal events had ever been Lady Stelangela.

 

The Looney Lady Lucitor, as they called her.

 

But even a mad Archduke’s daughter was still an Archduke’s daughter. And due to her strange heritage, she was somewhat of a spectacle in the Pixtopian court. A fanciful outcast and a lowly middle child destined for greatness- a meeting such as this was always meant to be. Part of his father’s ascension to nobility had been in paying for The Lady’s childhood castle in Hexelshire, an expensive construction even if they hadn’t been deep in national debt at the time.

 

Every tea, every birthday gala, every jubilee he was forced to suffer through her oddities was in preparation for this moment, this very moment as her lady’s maid announced her.

 

Lannie sat cross legged in the air, twirling her parasol it as she looked about. It seemed she didn’t need to gesture at all to propel herself through the air, her long bouncy locks of royal purple hair weren’t even disturbed as she floated into his sitting room.

 

Most days, Lannie didn’t really like going to other noble's houses. Ideally she would rather meet up in the gardens or in her own home, but Fraggis had always been so kind to her she thought it rude to refuse. As after her lady’s maid curtseyed into a corner, she floated upright and sunk to hover just a foot above the large plush chair Fraggis set apart for her.

 

There was no greeting from her ladyship, there rarely ever was. Lannie merely looked dreamily about the room, watching the crystal light flicker and dance like flames. Soon her pixie dust and infernal smoke began to settle, and already the plate of delicacies threatened to join her in the air.

 

“Ah my Lady Stelangela!” Fraggis cooed, standing to grip the plate before any of the expensive cakes could spill onto the floor, “I’ve been so looking forward to this visit, my dear.”

 

Lannie nodded, as always serine in her bemused approval.

 

“It is very nice to see you again, Fraggis,” She said in an airy voice that could melt weaker men. Twirling her parasol, she looked about the room.

 

If she was being honest, she didn’t really like his house. It was far too stuffy for her tastes, nothing like the large mostly empty halls of her own home, the only décor the odd statue, fountain, or holographic plant. She didn’t like the use of animal parts or the gilded glowplace, but worst was how everything was always bolted down. She could never find a chair to sit in unless she concentrated hard to dispel her powers.

 

The musings were obvious on Lannie’s face, and Fraggis waited for her to continue her statement. When she said nothing more he chuckled and took her hand, giving it a simple kiss before standing straight.

 

“I just wanted to ask you a question My Lady, or rather a couple if you will.” Fraggis sat once again in his plush chair, taking back his wine glass from a kneeling servant, “Tell me, are you by chance, currently being courted?”

 

Lannie thought for a moment. Was she? Despite her adventures flirtations with Blorb there had never been any physical contact, and he never made any romantic advancements on her.

 

“Yes.” She said, finally.

 

Fraggis quirked a brow as he seemed to look up from where he had been admiring something below her shoulders.

 

“What do you mean ‘Yes’? Who could possibly even be with? Is it with that son of a butcher Jorr?” he asked, almost offended that he was never told.

 

Lannie blinked, taken aback before she realized what she had said.

 

“Oh…I meant no.” She smiled dreamily, “You ever hear a question and phrase it differently in your head? And then when you answer people think you get it wrong…” she chuckled and, “I thought you asked if I _wasn’t_ being courted, sir.”

 

There was a short silence between them, the false crystal flames crackling in a poor imitation of fire. Finally he let out a low sigh, managing to keep the aggravation from his tone. Rising once again, he waved away the coffee table between them to stand in front of her slipping a small box from his sleeve.

 

“Then my darling, have you ever thought about settling down? Perhaps stopping to smell the flowers with a real man by your side, no?"

 

Stelangela blinked again, her smile forgotten on her face.

 

“I am already settled I should think, but more settled up then down!” she twirled her parasol. “I smell flowers daily, and I already have a nice house assured to me, I wont be crowned like my cousins, I will only switch to the master chambers when my parents pass the name onto me. I am very much settled.”

 

Lannie contemplated for a moment an interesting thought occurring to her, “And what exactly is a real man? Would I settle for a fake one? A Ghost maybe? Curious.”

 

Fraggis could not resist rolling his eyes. Ever since her childhood she had always avoided answering inquiries by proposing the most ludicrous of her own. That would be the first thing he’d need to fix if he were to ever conquer the court.

 

“No, no, my dear. I want to ask for your hand in marriage. That’s clear is it not?” he asked before popping the box open to reveal a ring inside. “After all me and my family could most definitely add on to yours, no?”

 

Lannie only stared down at the ring.

 

“Oh,” she said, as if chewing the words, “Marriage…”

 

Avoiding the box as if she feared the stone on the right might have eyes, she looked up at the ceiling.

 

“Well, if we married would I have to live here?” sweeping the rest of the room, her grip tightened on the handle at the very thought of it, “If so, no. Too small. Also Father says he doesn’t want me living on this side of the city, apparently its not as clean as the others.”

 

A delicate fingernail tapped her lower lip in contemplation, “But lets say I could stay in my nice house, would you move in with me? Oh I would hope not. If you lived with me that would mean we’d have to spend time together, and heavens, that would be dreadful!”

 

Again she looked at him, “But lets say we lived apart and were married all the same, would we have to kiss? Again I’d rather not. I don’t really like how you look you see, it’s a bit too…”

 

She waived a hand.

 

“Unrealistic? Perhaps lacking in character. Sometimes I wonder if I poke you, you will pop like a balloon! So I’d rather not kiss. Furthermore if we were to have children they might run the risk of looking like you too, and I just couldn’t bear to force _that_ unto any child.”

 

All this was said in an airy tone, as if she were merely pondering aloud and didn’t mean any of it in offense.

 

“So, if I could not live with you, and you not with me, we never practiced any marital affections, never have children…why wouldn’t it just be the same if we weren’t to marry at all?”

 

Nearing her conclusion, she clapped her hands.

 

“No, then. No thank you, I am honored and all that but no.” She wondered what aunt Annie was up to. “Can I go home now?”

 

Fraggis seemed to ascend to another plane altogether. By the time she asked if she could go home he dropped the ring, and pounded it with the hard of his heel.

 

“I invite you into my home, make sure you’re taken care of, and then ask for your hand. Then you taunt and have the audacity to be so rude towards me?” he growled through clenched teeth, “No. You leave. You leave _now_!”

 

Lannie smiled and already began to drift to the door, he added:

 

“Forget coming to my balls anymore you insolent swine.”

 

Lannie frowned only momentarily, before beaming.

 

“Oh I don’t have to go to your balls anymore? Oh how very kind! My cousins would be so pleased, they don’t have to come anymore either right?” she smiled and drifted forward to take his hands, “Thank you for being so kind.”

 

With that she drifted from the room, followed by an incredibly pleased lady’s maid. As she looked through a skylight to the cotton-candy skies, she didn’t even hear the frustrated screaming through the door.


End file.
